6 No, Lord! Don’t punish me in the heat of your anger. 2 Pity me, O Lord, for I am weak. Heal me, for my body is sick, 3 and I am upset and disturbed. My mind is filled with apprehension and with gloom. Oh, restore me soon.
Inner monologue (IM): my mind is disturbed and my body is sick… *Hears crickets* *Realizes I’m inside* This is the man God said “was after His own heart? But… He is so weird, and never consistent with his emotions. If this guy is “after God’s own heart” how come he doesn’t say he is super happy all the time? Why is he so sad, overwhelmed with grief,
4 Come, O Lord, and make me well. In your kindness save me. 5 For if I die, I cannot give you glory by praising you before my friends. 6 I am worn out with pain; every night my pillow is wet with tears.
IM: He should really find out who is crying on his pillow.
7 My eyes are growing old and dim with grief because of all my enemies.8 Go, leave me now, you men of evil deeds, for the Lord has heard my weeping 9 and my pleading. He will answer all my prayers. 10 All my enemies shall be suddenly dishonored, terror-stricken, and disgraced. God will turn them back in shame.
God doesn’t want us to pretend life is perfect, act like we are always happy, and put on a stoked face. He wants us to have pillows filled with someone’s tears when needed (hopefully your own, or you should wash that). He wants us to admit our struggles, our disturbed sinful thoughts. He wants us to weep before Him and plead for help. He doesn’t view our “problems” as annoying. He doesn’t hear our grief and turn away. He is a loving Father who sees us in our despair, clearer than anyone else, and wishes we would just open up and lament to Him.
Yeah, other people sometimes mess up (sometime=a lot of the time, but in a loving way…). Yeah, other people sometimes don’t know what to say. Yeah, other people are… well other people. God is not a person, He is God! (I know super deep eh?) You can do new things with Him, act differently with Him, even experiment with relating to Him in a new way. He wants to experience the sloppiness of learning how to relate, like being on a first date. It’s better than doing the same thing for years and ending up in a stagnant DEAD relationship…
No one else will ever understand you the way He does. So take advantage of that because ALSO no one else will ever be able to help you like He can. Sometimes, maybe just cry in His presence and not say a word. He knows. Sometimes tell Him your tired and need help. Sometimes maybe even tell Him you love Him…
IM: *quietly sits in reflection* Wow… how often do I say that to Him?
Spend 1 minute asking God to help you be real with Him. Then spend however much time as it takes to actually be real with Him.
Maybe tell your friends, your close friends, you want them to be real with you. Tell at least ONE PERSON that you want them to be super real, super raw with you. Then work on embracing them…